Am I the Song?

I am dying. Getting old. Old.
The sounds of my life are changing.
Am I the song? a note? the musician?
the paper? the pen?
God got me to settle. by giving me what I wanted.
what He wants.
I just continue to want.
really?
maybe I can't settle.Maybe I need what I have.
Sure. Obvious.
So, why am I happy? depressed?
alone again?
I am in such great pain, to my core.
What have I done? Remembered what?
Pining for what? Youth? Pleasure? feelings?
Sin is rough
We will never belong here.
This is not home.
We will never be real here
or single minded.
Only what God does is good.
WE ARE HERE TO MAKE A BETTER EXPERIENCE.
I know I can love you much better
than this.
He lives among us. He speaks to us
through us
we have but to listen
and hear
we don't need to know more
we need to listen.
To be available.
Don't judge.
Don't criticize.
Why am i always frustrated?
with others?
myself?